Sunday, September 28, 2008

Saturday, September 27, 2008

He Got Knocked Down

From the upstairs bathroom came the cries of failure and frustration. Melissa hurried
upstairs to find #2...

He has recently learned to tinkle standing up with varying levels of success. He gets up on a stool, drops the pants, and usually hits the target. Unfortunately, #3 has recently developed a little bit of strength and a sense of humor.

Some detective work yielded the following assumptions:

While #2 was taking care of business, #3 came in and either pushed him, or the stool he was standing on. He fell to the floor on his back, with the spout in full function! About 50% of you know the near impossibility of stopping mid-flow. Melissa arrived to find #3 laughing, as #2 was crying, lying on his back, shorts at his ankles, arms attempting to shielding his face, and the front of his shirt soaked and dripping onto the floor.

Donʼt drink from that fountain bud, donʼt drink from that fountain.

Maybe this will teach him to close the door.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Something Wicked This Way Comes

By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way comes;
From the debates,
Copious logical fallacies await.
Pandering presidential partisans,
Pushing philosophical sins;
Posing the problem of picking,
Particularly as picking apart the falsehoods and fabrications.

As we charted the first debate, we noticed three main things:

First, both candidates would have been shredded in any college debate class due to their constant appeal to logical fallacies. Nearly every argument incorporated a few.

Second, they demonstrated that candidates can be mildly respectful in a debate. Havenʼt seen that in a long time. This was the only positive I found in the debate. (This is for you mom - see? Iʼm looking for the positive, and the devil should start investing in North Face).

Third, pushing aside the froth, our walkaway from the first debate was that the primary difference between two corrupt politicians was their core belief about the purpose of government. McCain is using philosophies that have worked in the past, but the way that he is proposing to have them implemented removes some of the key factors that historically have made them function. He answered the questions in ways that are somewhat feasible but do not solve the core problems. With his fiscal package though, there is greater probability for short term success.
Obama believes that the lack of government intervention has failed, particularly in the economy. He is correct, but the more important question - why has it failed? Due to the intervention and removal of consequences for “wall street” and “main street” the system cannot work. The evil attitude of entitlement has moved to a philosophy within the government. We... are... screwed...

Both the greatest strength and weakness of the liberal argument is that it points out the weakness and failures of the current system. Why is this a failure? Because pointing out the problem and calling for change does not necessitate sound principles. The socialist - based tendencies backing Obamaʼs plan have given up short term success while failing in the long run in every system they in which they have been incorporated throughout the world. To quote Ras Al Goul: “You have given up sure footing in order to obtain a killing stroke.

Who won the first debate? I call it a push, but I can only support a political philosophy in line with what I view as the purposes of good government found in Doc. & Cov. 134. But thatʼs our view and does not represent any groups or organizations we are affiliated with.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Harvest Bugs


David and his colleague decided to teach an object lesson at work about keeping the Sabbath Day holy. They had the students create a list of the activities they do throughout their week. They then would get the materials for Sundaes, and would make a great Sundae in front of the class with all the toppings, then ask the class if they liked butter, salt, pepper, hot sauce, ketchup, mustard, and other such toppings on other foods. When the students answered in the affirmative, they would put them on the sundae, ruining it. For extra drama, he would top the sundae with a large bug. The students freak out and ask why he ruined a perfectly good sundae, he responds by asking them why they would ruin a perfectly good Sunday with the activities they place on the rest of the week. (The bug represents activities they shouldnʼt be doing anyday...)

You guessed it, David asked if the “kids would enjoy catching bugs”! Translation? Heʼs not going to be available much this evening with some other meetings, and need me to catch and gas those beasts. At least the kids enjoyed it...

We also harvested more from the garden, sunflowers, zucchini, and more zucchini.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This is Not a Good Sign


Last night, as I was putting the children to bed, I listened in as they said their personal prayers. #1, who had a lesson on telling the truth on Sunday in Church, prayed that she would always tell the truth. Upon hearing that, #2 immediately prayed, “And helped me to always tell lies.”
Anyone want to guess what stage heʼs at?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Lightening the Queen


“Whatʼs going on?”
“Guess what Dad, Iʼm Lightening The Queen, a race car.”
“You mean Lightening McQueen, the race car.”
“Nope. I can go really fast like my sister.”
“Thatʼs interesting... hey, uh, watch out for that wall!!!”
“Ooooouuuuccchhhh, I need a Towmater-oooooo.”
“Either that or a better airbag deployment system.”
“Will you be my airbag?”

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Evil in the Ranches… that will affect your pocketbook!

Just an emergency head’s up for all of our neighbors… The HOA is trying again to build a recreation center, BUT here is the bigger problem. The city is currently planning a recreation center also. When the city does build a rec center, we will have to be paying for both. We’ll take a little tax increase from the city to build theirs… but if we don’t stop the HOA we’ll have to pay 25 MORE DOLLARS PER MONTH to fund the additional HOA recreation center! These center would be about 2 miles from each other and in direct competition with each others. This is an unneeded, foolish, and ill-conceived plan. I recommend reading Paul Jerome's editorial in the crossroads journal. (He is the city's accountant!)

In a time when many of our neighbors are struggling with increasing costs this would be damaging to their fiscal health. Furthermore, it does not fall into the HOA’s responsibilities nor meet a need!

To assume that the HOA has our best interests in mind is naive and demonstrates a lack of understanding of the motivations of those governors of the HOA. They are a business! If this were pure motivation, then they would move the HOA to public ownership, lower costs and move to volunteer elected officials instead of keeping the organization private and continuing to feed salaries.

They already gave Nolan park to the city because of the “costs” for upkeep… since 30 bucks a month from hundreds of houses isn’t enough to get someone to mow the lawn… how long until this rec center is given up or falls into disrepair as they keep their fees and salaries high?

In order to fight this we must contact both the HOA directors AND our local representative in addition to letting all of your neighbors know and join the fight. Feel free to post links to this post if you so feel. Here is the contact information…

"Quality Management Services" (perhaps one of the most misleading names out there...) 789-5500

To email all of them post the following into your mail program:

celayajon@gmail.com; brian@thesagegrouputah.com; mikec@ext.usu.edu, ideal_fab_and_cut@yahoo.com; jonbarclay@gmail.com; ryan@sagecommunities.com;
trezspritzs@hotmail.com; jeff.topham@era.com; joshs@sisna.com; mckelley02@hotmail.com;
rob.healey@ucn.net; brittanylong426@gmail.com; jcoldsprings@yahoo.com; sparkyt9@hotmail.com; pitchfam@msn.com;

To find your individual HOA delegate please visit

http://www.rancheshoa.com/



Here is what I wrote to the HOA and City Council:

To those with the power to make the best decisions,

As a concerned home owner in the Ranches, I am very disturbed by the idea of a Home Owner's Organization taking on the responsibilities of a city. Building a large-scale recreation center for our area is not the purpose of function of the HOA in protecting our property value.

Furthermore, as you are probably well aware, the city is in the process of approving their own recreation center, eliminating any perceived need for such a building.

The increase the HOA is planning to fund this is not appropriate, particularly in a time of depression. This would be fiscally damaging to many families in our area. The area we live in is not Beverly Hills. We have a good family environment, but the HOA should avoid a slip into the philosophical flaw of entitlement; we are still a young city and not growing as fast as some projected.

Paul Jerome's (the city's accountant) editorial in the crossroads journal points out many of the flaws with this decision. Please read that editorial.

If the HOA is so confident in the importance and need of this building, then have those who use it pay for it. Have dues and memberships like the other not-government organizations to fund it. Do not force my family and our neighbors to pay for something we do not want and do not plan to use. That very frustration of having to pay for things without any personal benefit is a corporate version of "taxation without representation".

Additionally, please understand that many of us have work, business, and service organizations we belong to and cannot make it to your scheduled meetings, but that does not mean that we do not have an opinion. I hope that you, as the elected or decision-making officials will do all in your power to prevent the project from continuing.

Regards,

The Hoffman Family

Friday, September 19, 2008

Bad Breeding



Our gorgeous, glorious, watermelon proved to be the immoral (what's that word for a child born out of wedlock?) spawn of cross-pollination. Such perversion! When we went to eat the juicy... white?!... melon, the taste was that of cucumber. Apparently our cucumber plant did the garden polka with the melon... without protection. To say it was an unpleasant surprise is an understatement.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Shield your eyes! and your ears...

One of the interesting perks of my profession is the opportunity to become aware of some shifts and trends due to regular discussions of sensitive and spiritual subjects with teenagers. Sometimes I am surprised to learn that a large number of people are not aware of such trends. For example, it amazes me how few people know about the changes the MPAA rating system has instigated over the last few months. Ratings that used to always be safe cannot always be trusted. We, as a society, have reached a point when the determination to watch or avoid some movies now must be based on content in addition to completely avoiding R-rated movies.

If you are not aware, here are some of the changing pg-13 "standards":
- They are now allowed to have waist-up frontal female nudity, and full side and rear nudity for both sexes.
- Extended "bedroom scenes"are now permissible.
- The taking of the name of God in vain is no longer considered swearing if it is used in the context of surprise or in a situation where a person would potentially be speaking with God (i.e. horror films?!?!). [Sadly, this is now true all the way down to g-ratings, where they can take God's name in vain without a rating change.]
- They are now allowed to contain graphic violence and scenes of torture.
- Sensitive subjects and extensive descriptive dialogue that should only occur between husband and wife are also now permitted.

The list goes on. The other ratings have likewise "lowered the bar".

I've found a way to be safe. There is a website I use, and highly recommend. It is a group of parents who preview movies and list all of the things that could be disconcerting to a parent from nudity to calling people names like "jerk". They are very accurate and I have never been "unfortunately surprised" by a movie since I learned of the site about a year and a half ago. It is the safe way to preview a movie's content without seeing or hearing things that would cause you guilt. Please check it out for yourself:

www.kids-in-mind.com

Africans

When I told my classes that my bro got called to serve in Cape Town, South Africa, two boys in the room looked at each other and laughed. I inquired... apparently, their dads served together while there on service missions back in the day. Both of them had to learn Afrikaans... even though they were English Speaking...

Yes, I know this post's song is not about Africa. It's a joke. But now it's not funny cause I had to explain it. Fine, I'll also add the obvious "Africa" song. There... are you happy?

Monday, September 15, 2008

I wouldn't have spent the time if I didn't think it was worth the time to read it.

When choosing the lesser of two evils, I find it helpful to look at the issues that directly effect my family. Here are some of the points that you may find relate to yourself also with the upcoming election. Assuming the campaign points of the various candidates pass, here are the effects on my family.

Off-Shore Drilling
McCain - In favor
Obama - opposed
Effect on my family if opposed? (1) The price of fuel (2) National transfer of wealth to other (read 'Near Eastern') nations, leading to a devaluation of the dollar and further depreciation of my 401k, stock, bonds, and regular savings accounts.
Note: Neither candidate supports what I believe to be the simplest and most effective solution. The current U.S. oil reserves are sufficient to run the country for 40 years including inflation. The government is not opening up these for use while imposing alternative fuel expectations on the automobile industry which could drop gas prices back to 3 dollars a gallon until a save and effective transfer occurred.

Same Sex Marriage

McCain - Opposed
Obama - In favor
Effect on my family in favor? The wrath of God on the nation? Any examination of Leviticus, Romans, and other scripture clarifies that the practice of homosexuality is in direct opposition to the main purpose of life, forming eternal families (see DNTC, McConkie).

Education

McCain - continue with No Child Left Behind
Obama - Alter No Child Left Behind and adjust the government's role in education with funding and emphasis on teacher competency, not teaching to an exam.
How does this effect my family? If McCain is elected, then the poor state of American education will not be challenged. After spending 3 years examining education in graduate school, listening and debating both sides of the issue, it is clear to me that NCLB is negatively influencing our education. Yes, children are passing tests, but they are being taught to pass, not to think. I believe the purpose of Education is to give a child all of the tools they need to clearly think, analyze, discern, understand, and examine issue so that they can make informed choices based on their set of values.

Capital Gains Tax
McCain - 0 % on home sales up to $500,000 for a couple filing jointly. (Or in other words, no change).
Obama - 28% on profit from ALL home sales.
Effect on my family? If I sell your home and make a profit, I will pay 28% of my gain on taxes. If my family is headed toward retirement and would like to down-size our home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money I make from my home will go to taxes.

DIVIDEND TAX
McCain - 15% (no change)
OBAMA - 39.6%
How will this effect my family? My money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. Higher tax rates on dividends and capital gains has always sent the stock market into a massive plunge.

INCOME TAX

McCain - no change
Obama - Increase back to Clinton era, (pre-Bush taxes)
Therefore...
MCCAIN
Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250
OBAMA (reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750

INHERITANCE TAX
MCCAIN
- 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)
OBAMA
Restore the inheritance tax (Unless our relatives have paid a buttload of money to set up tax shielded accounts and trust funds) nearly 50% of items willed to family members go to the government.

Another new tax proposed by OBAMA
New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet. New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already) New taxes on natural resources consumption (heating gas, water, electricity) New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same level of medical care as other third-world countries!!!

With all of the hype about change and hope, what is it I would experience as the change that I should hope for? 1-decreased deficit (take any basic college econ class and you'll realize the uninformed are seriously concerned about this.)
and the one that really scares me
2 - Working towards an establishment of socialized government-provided health care. This is a purely socialist agenda. Furthermore, his propositions for "fixing" the economy are antiquated stat-padding fixes that lead to further inflation and dollar devaluation. This would set us up for significant fiscal failure as a country, and an unprecedented global supply and demand shortage for the United States. (Simple terms, we lose money, cannot afford globally made goods.)

THEREFORE WHAT?
Since I have the ability to combat the problems with the current educational state in my own home, but I cannot fiscally handle the changes Obama proposes without destroying my plans for retirement and current status for living, I intend to vote McCain. - David

Note: Some individuals continue to believe that voting for 3rd party candidates makes a statement. This is true, and that statement is: "I do not understand the government set up by the founding fathers set up." In order to enhance compromise, these men set up a system that would support two-parties - forcing these parties to adopt minority groups ideas and compromise to garner votes. This leads to less extreme views. When a person votes for a 3rd party candidate, they are casting an empty ballot, it does not matter. They should pick the lesser of the two evils which have a chance to be elected so that the worse candidate does not come to power. One must work within the system even when it is corrupt in order to bring about actual change. Not just fluff and puff that stirs emotions. Politics are dirty. One must recognize that to bring about change, there are compromises that must occur.

I am personally responsible for the information above. The views expressed in this blog do not represent any organization or affiliation with which I am associated. Please feel free to check my work, I'm definitely non infallible, and let me know if you find any mistakes. Thanks for reading. Thanks even more for researching the issues on your own to be informed. Here are the web sites:
http://www.motortrend.com
http://www.barackobama.com/issues
http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/Issues/
http://money.cnn.com/news/specials/election/2008/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/issues/issues.taxes.html
http://elections.foxnews.com/?s=proposed+taxes
http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/politics/articles/mccain_obama_offer_different_visions_on_taxes.html
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/candidates/barack_obama/
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/candidates/john_mccain/

Never cancel practice, particularly when facing Tom Cruise

On Wednesday this week I canceled #1's soccer practice due to thunderstorms and a soaking wet field. To say that effected the game would be a monstrous understatement.

The team did not run around almost at all. They did not watch the ball. They talked about their week, and they only put 3 shots on goal compared to the other team's 12 shots (10 scores?) on goal. We forgot nearly everything from previous practices.

Salt in the wound? Not a lot of the teams in this league are actually "coached" with intent, technique and goals. I've only seen one other team in the league that demonstrates that kind of coaching. It is the team coached by the man I call "Tom Cruise" because of his "Days of Thunder"/"Risky Business" (never seen it) circa 1983 sunglasses. I've never seen him without them. Does he wear them at night? Anyway, he was the only coach to beat my team last year in our nearly perfect season, and he handed our team Saturday a brutal whipping reminiscent of BYU putting on a clinic for UCLA.

Practice will not be canceled anymore. 4 foot snow drifts? With lightening? Hurricane force winds? The field falls into crevice from earthquake? Builds character. Suck it up and put some hustle into that snow bank.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Dental work

Went to the dentist this week to have a crown repaired while David was at work. #3 layed on my stomach and watched the entire procedure in shock. #1 also got her teeth cleaned and thought that was fun!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Oh no you didn't!

At the end of each day, Melissa has a tradition of asking the children what the hardest and best parts of their day are. Since she was gone as I put the children to bed, I decided to try it. #2 informed me that the best part of his day was, "When dad gave me the rest of his yogurt." I looked down at the half-finished Yoplait in my hand.

The manipulative little punk got the rest of one of my favorite flavors.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Finally

Well, it took 4 weeks of practice, but we finally got #1's new soccer team to score some goals. Even better, they scored 4! Since the other team scored three, it is probably appropiate to quote the ever-profound John Madden: "Well, the team that scores the most points usually wins." Brilliant.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Hard Body

If you look at the first picture in the current slide show, you will notice #2 on his bike with the big-ol' two-kid stroller attached. This wasn't a joke. He loves riding his bike (like dad) and successfully pulled #3 and the cart about 1/3 a mile on a bike ride. That's nearly twice his body weight. He may not be tall, but he is solid. He did it laughing nearly the whole time.