Sunday, November 27, 2011

2011 Christmas Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

As another year ends we find ourselves continually blessed. We are surrounded by individuals on whom we can thoroughly rely. We have sufficient for our needs and wants. Our children have been protected and kept safe. Our eternal marriage is stronger than tungsten because of eternal covenants made in God's Holy Temple. And most importantly, we know our Heavenly Father provided His Son as a sacrifice for our sins; Jesus Christ overcame death and paid the price of sin that we may return to live with God again. What a wonderful season when many individuals remember and celebrate this paramount event.

To you: thank you for taking the time to read our blog! We know life in the fast lane sometimes feels more like life in front of oncoming traffic. It is almost inconceivable to keep up will all of those we care about, and this is our most efficient method of sharing our adventures and joys with you. We know your lives are similarly busy, it takes time to read and comment on our blog, but doing so lets us know you care. So, thanks!

Here are the year's updates by individual.

Wait for ittttttt. And go!



Susanna

She never fails to express her opinion on any matter relating to her life. We hope she will start using words other people can understand soon.

Her chocolate milk addiction is approaching intervention stage. More information on that subject in future posts.

She loves animals. They're so fluffy! She would spend all day watching and playing with various animals if she had the opportunity. One of her favorite places to rest is in front of the fish tank with her blankets and Dad. David would love to get a "toy" sized bichon frise for her, they're far superior to a cocker spaniel.

She loathes socks, and clothing in general. Oh well.

She is electronically gifted. She performs tasks on Melissa's iPod neither of her parents believed possible, and she repeats those actions intelligently. For example, she knows where to get her favorite games, movies, and music. If there is a tv, computer, or other media device on in the house, you will find her there or yelling at the door "pblezquzz", her word for "please".



Amirrah

She learned to ride a bike this year, pretty much on her own. The first time David took off the training wheels she rode a 1/2 mile without falling after he let go of the seat.

She began dance lessons, and continues her love of clothing, appearance, and extreme girly-ness.

She is hoping for a violin this Christmas so she can do "a pretty instrument instead of piano". (Not the sound, how it looks when she holds it.)

She also earned her scriptures (you get a set in our family once you can read two verses of Isaiah and correctly identify the basic idea). Her pre-school - "UPSTART: Rusty and Rosy" offered in-home through the Waterford Institute - is one of her favorite activities.

If you want to win her over, a five guys burger and fries is the way to go.





Timothy

Is a boy. Does anything else need to be said? He thinks if he could drive a car, he could change the world. If it is beautiful, unethical, dangerous, explodes, sounds loud, smells funny, is dangerous, causes damage to bad guys, requires repair, is weaponized, or is manly in his own mind, he's all in. He likes to hide, blend! blend! blend!

He dominates his age group in soccer, does plenty of push-ups, holds his own in video games, and constantly makes noise with singing and sound effects; while brushing his teeth, the sound of machine guns can be heard throughout the house. The other evening we found him singing in his sleep.




Magdalyn

Plays ball like a girl. Intense one moment, and distracted the next. In spite of this, she managed to score her one and only goal of her less-than-illustrious soccer career. Shortly thereafter, she determined that soccer was not for her.

Maggie enjoys school, and is excelling in the Alpine School District's A.L.L. program. The class provides lots of opportunities to make new friends and play new games.

She's got a little fight in her and enjoys practicing ch'uan fa, running, and skating. She ran a 5k in under 31 minutes and did the Turkey Trot this year also.


Melissa

Melissa continues to develop her various talents while juggling carpool, bountiful baskets, sewing, and her full time profession as wife and mother. In addition to hemming pants, suits, and making alterations for a great price to those in our Stake, some of her sewing projects this year include pajamas, dress suits and shirts, costumes, jeans, music lesson bags, and various types of clothing that function as underclothing to keep ladies modest.

She picked up piano lessons again this year and will hopefully begin learning hymns and primary songs in the next few months. She is close, but she is no Liberace you know.

She developed an interest in improving her abilities to heal, comfort, and relieve her family's pains, which led to studying and practicing more eastern philosophies of health such as acupressure, massage, reflexology, and herbology.

Her two highlights for the year were first, the vacation with David to the Blue Boar Inn for their anniversary (Worth. Every. Penny.), and second, the opportunity to sign for the choir in the Worldwide General Relief Society Meeting in September.

She collected many cooking manuals, books, recipes, which led to many... adventures... and an excellent ciabatta bread recipe.

Other than that, she switched out her Odyssey for a Subaru Legacy. Some of you may wonder what in thunder are [we] tryin' to do? Crazy woman driver! But she is still accident free.


David

Continues to spend as much time as possible with the family and provide teaching, learning, and enjoyable memorable experiences with the children. In his non-existent spare time, he reads a variety of magazines, books, and follows news, politics, and a variety of hobbies. He continues his political activity serving as a State Delegate. He also developed a new taste for sparring.

He continues his employment teaching Seminary and writing curriculum for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Other than that, he switched out his Legacy for a Dodge Ram Big Horn Crew Cab. Yea, it's got a Hemi. We are blessed.

Thanks for reading. You may have noticed some of the sentences in this letter were not as crisply fit to the subjects, this is because of our blog reader challenge now becomes find all the movie quotations in our newsletter. Guesses go in the comments section. If anyone can list all of them before Christmas and the movie they come from, we will provide them a quart of Melissa's amazing homemade jam.

Merry Christmas!

Love,
The Hoffman's

The Vault



There is one benefit to having a vaulted ceiling. (Yes, only one.) It comes once a year, and lasts for about a month. It is the opportunity to eliminate all space from your living room and increase the probability of burning down your home. It is the best holiday tradition of all. Killing an oxygen producing "evergreen" tree, placing it in a location where sunlight cannot reach it, and watching it slowly die.

[It is almost as cool as giving someone freshly killed flowers as an expression of love. "Here, these are for you, watch them die."]

But at least it smells super good. The smell of diapers and children almost leaves the home for a while, so it is totally worth it.



No, we are not too lazy to get an extension cord, we have the lights on the floor in hopes that the children will not trip over and break another set.

Which reminds me of my favorite secular holiday tune...

Friday, November 25, 2011

The Shrieking Shack

When Nannie came for Thanksgiving this year, she brought with her the memory of a game, pulled out of the attic of her mind, dusted off, and passed on to her grandchildren.

Has anyone noticed that the things that grandparents bring to cause the grandchildren joy are often the things that are the most painful to parents?

Evidence for the prosecution:

Exhibit A
The game "No bears are out tonight"

The game starts with two people being "it". They are positioned in the front yard. The others playing the game, or coerced into joining through accusations of poor parenting, are in the back. They are expected to frolic around the back yard screa - er - I mean, singing the following occult chant:

No bears are out tonight, Daddy killed them all last night, no bears are out tonight, Daddy killed them all last night...

Until the two bears "sneak" around the yard and tackle (bear hug) two others, who become the bears.

It is simply tag, with additional embarrassment as the neighbors look out their windows and worry about the crazies next door.



Wait for iiiittttttttttttttttttt. (Notice the psychotic stance and glare of Tim?)



Richard gets mugged/hugged. Ami shrieks in delight running from nothing since the two bears are in the process of mauling Richard. Other siblings watch in embarrassment as blinds around the block slowly close.



Susanna proves that she is more like her father each day. In this picture she logically observes the game, determines its level of quality, and makes her decision (to leave).

Exhibit B:

They bought us a drum set.

The prosecution rests.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Run, Run, Run, As Fast As Dad Can




Eagle Mountain City Turkey Trot

Location: Up and Down Unity Pass

Date: Thanksgiving, 8am

Distance: 3.65 miles

Who: Dad and Maggie

Time: 40 minutes, 48 Seconds (Dad slowed her down.)

Results: Endorphins for Maggie; Advil, Poweraid, and Blisters for Dad.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Easily mistakable

For Maggie's 2nd Christmas, she got this big care bear.



They were pretty close in size as well as color.
She slept with it regularly.



Now Susanna, at the same age Maggie was in these 2 pictures, has discovered it and likes to sleep with it.

Even better? She was wearing those same pajamas Maggie had on in the pictures!

Last night, David tucked in all the sleeping kids. I made the rounds, unaware of his earlier actions.

When I finished, I asked David if he'd tucked in the kids.
D: Yes.
M: And the Care Bear?
D: What? (a bit confused)
M: Did you have your glasses on?
D: No.
M: Oh. I found the Care Bear carefully tucked in under the blankets.
D: That's odd. What happened to Susanne?
M: She's on top of the blankets.
D: She was asleep when I tucked her in.
M: I don't think that changed.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Halloween

It was a slightly cloudy and pleasant night...



So we trick-or-treated the children into fatigue.



Approximately 4 miles walked. Over 200 pieces of candy



Some of the houses had individuals hiding and scared the children. Fun.



The Smiths joined us in our adventure.