Monday, May 30, 2011

Dearly Beloved...


We are gathered here today, for the first of many flushings.

What can be said about Tim's lemon terra "Tempest"?

Not a stink'n thing. He did not even last 48 hours.

That's weak sauce fishy. Weak sauce.

Therefore I send you down to the land of brown.

63.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

In a world of soccer...

Was a girl...

Who could not find the net...

Until one day...

After nine seasons...

Maggie put the winning goal into the back o'the ol'onion bag.

And I did not have my camera.

With nearly all of the boys on her team gone for competition try outs the "Eagles" were shorter on talent than usual - or so we thought. Our six girls and two boys played a team with seven boys and two girls. Maggie scored the second goal in a 2-1 victory of sheer awesomeness. At the beginning of the game David pointed out to the team that they would run out of energy if they did not pass and spread out. They listened. They outplayed a team with nearly three times the talent they had by controlling the ball. It was the culmination of years of coaching come to one perfect moment. It was brilliant.

Two years ago, when Tim scored his first goal, he got "Oscar el Matador de los Pescados el Demonio Blanco", a Beta. We figured this was worth far more.

Maggie got Twitchy Pits, a tropical cherry barb, plus the fix'ns. A LED day/night light, biowheel, 20 gallon tropical fish tank. To celebrate the family also picked out some other fish to start off the tank.

David picked out an Applewood snail, and named it Walnut. (Yes, it is a pun.)
Tim picked out a silver and black colored lemon terra and named it Tempest because it looks like a storm.
Ami picked out a sunrise platy and we named it Katniss Collins. (After a family favorite author.)
Melissa picked out a swordtail and named it Captain Spur because he bosses the other fish around. (Yes, there should be a captain in there.)
Maggie's is Twitchy because it is, and because of Hoodwinked, and it is "pits" because Melissa thought since Cherries have pits she should try to be punny also.

We also thought we would try our luck with Live Plants, so we planted Wisteria.



This is the fifth aquarium David has owned. 62 fish lie in his wake. Let's see if we can not screw this up this time.

Calling All Superheros

Tim's birthday party brought some of our local superheros out of the woodwork. We met at Pony Express elementary to fight the evil forces of...

...boredom.

Over the next hour and a half we played various superhero games:
- Fro-zone's Freeze Tag [freeze tag]


- The Dash [a 1/4 mile sprint] (We were surprised that Tim won by quite a bit)!


- The Superman Slide


- Syndrome's swing [who can swing the highest?] Ami and Maggie joined in.


- Spider-man hang [hang as long as possible]


- The Undertaker's Graveyard [Boys lay down without moving, if they move they are "out" - a personal favorite from my babysitting days...]


- The Batcave [hide and go seek with a base]


- Villain in the middle [soccer monkey in the middle]


- The Power Pyramid


The fact that the boys enjoyed these games is a testament to packaging and advertising.

Amazingly, we only sustained 12 injuries (collisions, hurt feelings, falls, and contusions), without
any broken bones! Prayer works.

Superfood (cupcakes with superhero designs) were enjoyed by all.

Except Susanne. She was bored.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I'm Sorry, Does Sheer Awesomeness Hurt Your Eyes?

What should one do if they get all the necessary supplies finished for their wilderness survival bag for their birthday? Like a 220 Lumen LED Flashlight that can spotlight 900 feet away (amazing deal at Ace Hardware for $30 if you need one of the best flashlights on the market), a sweet knife, (Yes, that is an Esee 4 Wilderness Model Survival Knife. No, you may not touch it, but you will feel it if you try to touch it.) and some other supplies...



You go buy your son an early birthday present of his own camel back, get yourself a late birthday present of a MSR ceramic water filter, and grab a ninja.

After training the boys on emergency survival policies, the appropriate actions if they encounter various wild animals (bear, mountain lion, coyote, scorpion, snake, spider, skunk), and checked their packs, we left home about 7:30.

Into the wild.

We hiked into the mountains and set up a little camp before it got dark. Along the way we worked on our tracking skills. Through the night we found mountain lion, coyote, and dog tracks.

Once we set up camp, we taught the boys how to build a fire pit. They did well. We shaved dead wood and taught them how to make a fire without matches using dryer lint in our go bags.

Success.



The fire smelled amazing, and the weather was perfect.



We chowed on Peanut M&Ms and life savers waiting for it to get completely dark so we could move to the next part of our sons' survival training (as this is just the practice round for many more to come this summer).

After eliminating the fire in the appropriate manner, and then burying the ashes we worked on Navigation with major landmarks, mountain ridge lines, and the stars.

Saturn appeared very bright near the waxing Gibbous moon. We were able to walk through the night without needing flashlights.


(My knife blends here, I'm not tossing Black Panther signs.)

We ended up taking them about four miles total and 1000 feet in elevation climb for the evening before returning home. They loved it, we loved it, and since we had to be up early for soccer, we slept in our comfy beds after a hot shower.

Wilderness survival is becoming a lost art. We intend to not let the skills be lost in the next generation. Plus, reviewing and learning them is awesome. And night hiking is the best.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

You Died of Dysentery

Dys-claimer: This post contains graphic violence and illness which may not be suitable for those who take offense and have not read Elder Bednar's talk on taking offense. Consider yourself warned.



I am not one for conspiracy theories, yet I may be coming up with one of my own.

I have obtained a "flu shot" three times in the last five years.

The first two times, I became very ill with the flu immediately after the injection.

The two years I avoided getting the shot, I only got the flu one of those years.

This year I got the shot; lo and behold, I have lost about 5 pounds in the last eight hours.

It is somewhat funny to watch the different reactions of different age groups hurling.

Susanne got the virus first, and just sat there, opened her mouth like a ventriloquist doll, and flowed down her front. Then she frowned.

Ami asked, "If I have to throw up, am I supposed to use this bucket or go to the bathroom?"
Melissa began to explain, "Well, ideally, you should throw up in the toilet, by getting to the bathtub, but if you are in..."
Perhaps having a little more insight into the situation, I interrupted, "YES Ami." She turned and hurled towards the bucket, sort of.

Tim likes to do the whole body slinky projectile style. What would you expect? How else can you get splatter all around the bathroom?