Maternity Test Confirms Melissa Is the Mother

Melissa awoke about 2am on Saturday 6 February 2010 experiencing initial contractions. The 8 minute apart contractions surprised her since the baby was not due until Wednesday by our calendar and valentines day by the doctor's calendar.

Shortly after 4am she woke me up with contractions 4 minutes apart. I started the necessary preparations for departure, things were fairly consistent until about six am. We got the other children up. Gave them their Saturday baths and got them ready to depart.

Unfortunately, there were some slight complications. No, not those kind of complications. The night before, we bought a new table that would fit the growing family. I scheduled a pick-up at 10:30 Saturday. To complicate matters, Melissa left her wallet at the furniture store. We contacted two of our most trusted friends, and they agreed to procure the wallet and the table for us in addition to watching the children. What would we do without trusted friends?

We packed up the necessary supplies. dropped the children off and headed for the hospital. What is the difference between the first child and the fourth child? About 50 mph on the freeway and Dad stressing versus discussing a tax refund. Contractions were occurring about every 3 minutes.

At the hospital, the nurse determined Melissa was dilated to a 3. Once she sat down in the hospital bed, the contractions went back down to every 6 minutes. Since most of the births have been within about 10 hours start-to-finish or less, we figured we would just hang around Provo when they discharged us. We grabbed some bagels to eat with my brother, then went to Sportsman's Warehouse so Melissa could walk laps while we examined rifles. Then we went to the mall, so Melissa could look at some of the stores she wanted while doing laps.

The contractions became far more painful and back to every couple minutes, and so we went back in. After an hour, they kicked us out again, only dilated to a 4. Lame. At least they gave her a morphine shot. Unfortunately, she would not share, so I did not get any.

We called my sister, she was kind enough to let Melissa lay on her bed and scream for a few more hours. I attempted to nap on the couch while she and her boyfriend "studied and took a take home test" (danced in the kitchen). Right about the time it was time to order a pizza, Melissa informed me now it was time. We went to the hospital, and about 45 minutes later at 5:45pm Susan was born. 7 pounds, 7 ounces, 18 inches long with black, yes you read that right black, hair. Maternity tests confirmed that Melissa is the mother.

Initial impressions are that she has a lot more of my gene pool than Melissa's this time. The nose, eyes, and ears are more from the Hoffman line.

Mom and baby are well. Mom is reporting pain level as 0.5 out of 10, and baby is a binge drinker.

The children were more interested in what color bow the nurses put on her (purple) than anything else about Mom and baby.

Upon seeing the pictures before bringing them home, Maggie reported, "She looks wrinkly, like when I've been in the bathtub, under my fingers and toes."

Many thanks to the family, friends, doctors, nurses, and food service workers that made this possible. We are deeply grateful for your help. Sorry if you did not receive our initial mass-text relaying the details.

Mom and baby have been instructed to avoid too many visitors and public places for a few weeks, particularly anyone who has been ill. Thank you for understanding.

Nesting

I had no idea how many newborn girl clothes we have! They alone filled the washer.

Annnnddddd... one!

We've started having Maggie and Tim do sit-ups to get some energy out and to determine certain choices.

Today, while we were doing sit ups to determine who got to pick FHE treat, Melissa joined in. At 37 weeks pregnant, we all agreed that if she could do one, she would get the automatic win.

After 5 minutes, we stopped laughing (her included) and she did... three. Brownies it is.

This is actually fairly effective for determining choices, except when a person is particularly motivated. A couple weeks ago, Tim, Maggie and David had a sit up competition for who got to pick the family video game for the evening. David gave up as Tim reached about 298... or something like that. David called "foul" since Tim only has a four inch torso, but rules are rules.

Looks like Super Mario again...

Killer Bunnies - Hoffman Expansion Pack 1

For those that know the game killer bunnies, you'll know what we are talk'n about...


After obtaining all of the expansion packs, it is good to continue to expand with your own cards. Blank cards are available from the company. Here are the Cards of Hoffman Expansion Pack 1.

O.C.B. The Obsessive Compulsive Bunny eats one carrot of all players whose cards are not neatly arranged to "square" angles and appropriately visible.

Chuck Norris This bunny immediately mates with all pink bunnies, giving players with pink bunnies a bunny from the bunny discard pile, it then round house kicks the bunny immediately to its left, killing it immediately. Nothing can protect the bunny from the roundhouse. Nothing.

Three Bean Casserole Weapon level 15.

Short Senior Moment The player with this card down can exchange their top and bottom run cards at anytime. This card may be attacked like a bunny.

Prego Bunny Every round the person with this card rolls the pink and blue dice one at a time. If the number rolled is one higher than the number of bunnies the player has, the player retrieves a bunny card from the bunny discard pile. If anyone is eating ice cream during the playing of this card, they also get to roll for bunnies.

I know Karate If your bunnies are male (red, blue, green, orange, some celebrity or speciality bunnies), you must turn your bunnies sideways and they are incapacitated for three turn. If the game ends your bunnies can be used to win. If Chuck Norris is present, all bunnies are protected.

Hot Potato Everyone has 30 seconds to play their next turn or lose all saved cards, money, bunnies, carrots, defense cards, to the player of the card. Countdown for timer begins in 15...

Scoped Remington 700 .308 Weapon level 31, roll the 20 sided dice and black dice because all you have is a prayer and a .0023% chance of surviving a headshot.

Usurped!

Tim asked if he could play with my ipod while I finished up our tax return. A moment later I looked down and he had opened up the flashlight application, changed the color of the light, added his name to the center, and had it playing music.

I didn't know that the apps could do any of that.

Next thing you know, my hair will fall out...

oh, wait...

Hooks and Needles

I've finally found a hobby other than sewing that I really enjoy. I've even recruited David's help when needed. I'm crocheting and knitting quite a bit during my down time. Here are some of our projects:


I-80, the trip David made for most of his family vacations growing up, with all of the rest stops his sisters helped him become familiar with over the years marked with a white knot.
The official sport of the Hoffman family.

Where we were married.

Yellowstone
Guestures
Half Dome
True doctrine...

Open Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas to all our family and friends!

During this holiday season, we wish to thank you for your friendship and kindnesses throughout the years. Many of you have truly blessed our lives as living examples of the words of one of our favorite Primary songs:

I'm trying to be like Jesus; I'm following in His ways.
I'm trying to love as He did, in all that I do and say...
I'm trying to love my neighbor.
I'm learning to serve my friend.
I watch for the day of gladness, when Jesus will come again...
Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought.
For these are the things Jesus taught.

It is interesting how often people forget the waves that ripple through our lives from compliments or criticism spoken in passing. Thank you for the kind words and kind deeds that have blessed us and our children.

As another year comes to a close and we look back we realize that most of the adventures from this year are already on this blog, so we will just give a quick update on growth and changes from this year. Much of this will be old information for those of you who are actively a part of our lives. For those we care about that have less time and other vital priorities here is a recap:

Baby Girl
If things go well, she should be joining our circus somewhere in the middle of February. In utero, she is as calm as Maggie was. If there is a surprise that the ultrasound read wrong, we'll welcome a Wilford happily.

Amirrah Belle (Reflection of Heaven)
Is our girly-girl. She potty trained herself a couple weeks before turning two this year just so she could accessorize her underwear. She continues to enjoy tormenting her older brother with practical jokes and started learning to pray with help.

Timothy Abraham (Gifted Righteous Father)
Is progressing in his reading quite nicely. He enjoys tackle football with his Dad and started taking piano lessons. He enjoys playing Super Mario Brothers. His cooking skills rival that of his Mom's and can often be found in the kitchen cracking eggs and mixing ingredients.

Magdalyn Regan (Tower of Strength in a Time of Rain)
Lost all four front teeth just in time for Christmas. She enjoys playing with a wide variety of friends. Is doing well in her piano lessons and school. She also participated on two soccer teams coached by her Dad this year. She is a great example and takes care of her siblings.

Melissa
I continue to enjoy my full time job as a mother. I take a break from this every once in a while to continue my sewing business from home. I picked up crocheting again this year and produced quite a few afghans and foot blankets. To keep my mind active I took a couple online classes on film, child psychology, and began taking piano lessons again. I have been an assistant room mother. I've also studied Star Trek, 1st grade math and 1st grade reading (with the children). I look forward to weekly dates (sometimes more when pregnant! Yea!) with David, chocolate, church sports, and sleep.

David
Began writing college curriculum for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as part of his work responsibilities. He also took on five piano students. Coached three soccer teams. He spends his time serving me, the children, and in church responsibilities.

Thanks for reading. We love to hear from you.

Doorbell Ditch?

Our family attempted the first doorbell ditch this evening:

Fail.

First - don't label the gift "from the Hoffmans"
Second - don't get caught
Third - Tim, stop falling down on the ice then tripping on people's doormats

Upon arriving home Maggie yelled with glee: "That was the BEST doorbell ditch EVER!!!"

As I said: Fail.