All I need for this post is the quotation,
"Is it sad that when I come over, I hide behind Ami's bed and read the childrens' books; I love the Disney Princess Books?" stated Lisa. "You're putting that on your blog? ... I don't think people will get the humor, I doubt your friends know that is coming from an 18 year old college student."
Friday, September 24, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Finer Things
A week ago, a friend of ours told David about a grocery store to end all Utah grocery stores, with all sorts of imported European and high end domestic goodies.
And a cheese bar.
You all need to go the the Harmons at the south end of Bangerter Highway. It. Is. Awesome.
If you tell David about a cheese bar, he'll want to go get some cheese.
But first he will get prepared, so he will get two different types of grapes, five loaves of crusty sourdough, and fresh apples.
Then he will take us to the store.
When he sees all of the cheese, he will forget we follow a food budget.
He will sniff and search until he realizes they have a full-time Cheese Monger.
When he finds out they have a full-time Cheese Monger, he will excuse his family to go do the rest of the grocery shopping and talk cheese for an hour and fifteen minutes.
And while he explores the cheese, his youngest daughter will have a blowout that soaks through a diaper and four layers of clothing... yep, she was only wearing two of those.
They have an actual certified cheese monger?!?! And over 120 different types of cheeses!?! And you can try as many as you would like?!?!
When he has narrowed down his cheese selections to five, he will buy them all.
And then he will notice they have an olive bar. So he will try the olives, and buy a few buttery Italian Greens to go with the sourdough.
His wife will come back, poop-stained and all, which will remind him he saw a chocolate bar nearby. Feeling bad for her, he will ask the chocolatier about the different brands and find out that Harmons sells 2 of the top ten ranked chocolates in the nation (including the #3 in the world), so he will buy her some to match her shirts.
The island of Madagascar is home to the Trinitario and Criollo varieties of cocoa bean, and local producers excel in the art of the bean fermentation. Tanariva reveals a balance of acidulated flavors, softened by the pronounced milky caramel notes. - From the box.
And since the chocolates are next to an olive oil brand he loves, he will get the look that reminds him we are on a food budget.
But if you really want the best olive oil for sourdough, get the orange flavored Sciabica's, it is heavenly.
Harmons, my husband loves you, but you can only have his tastebuds...
If he buys all these things, he will realize he is going to need to get his wife some new knives for her birthday, and since he doesn't like buying things more than once, he'll get her the Henckles Professional set, because she watches the Food Network and that is what they are always using, plus a lifetime warranty and free sharpening doesn't hurt.
And since he is a price Nazi, he'll get the manager and talk them down 350 bucks on the price. Sweet! Too bad I don't get to open these on my birthday, hehe.
This evening I learned why David loves some of these finer things in life, we waited to have our dinner until the kids were in bed. He showed me how to mix the bread and the olives, the cheese and the grapes, and we savored a nibble of the chocolate.
I don't like olives. Let me clarify, don't like cheap olives.
That was a good date night.
It is so nice to use real knives.
Multiple new fun mind-expanding and tastebud-opening experiences.
Another one of the many great things about my marriage to him is how he regularly shows me there are many things to be enjoyed which are part of this life, like inspiring books, great food, and excellent music.
No. You can't use my knives. I will not be responsible for you slicing your finger to the bone with their awesomeness. :-)
And a cheese bar.
You all need to go the the Harmons at the south end of Bangerter Highway. It. Is. Awesome.
If you tell David about a cheese bar, he'll want to go get some cheese.
But first he will get prepared, so he will get two different types of grapes, five loaves of crusty sourdough, and fresh apples.
Then he will take us to the store.
When he sees all of the cheese, he will forget we follow a food budget.
He will sniff and search until he realizes they have a full-time Cheese Monger.
When he finds out they have a full-time Cheese Monger, he will excuse his family to go do the rest of the grocery shopping and talk cheese for an hour and fifteen minutes.
And while he explores the cheese, his youngest daughter will have a blowout that soaks through a diaper and four layers of clothing... yep, she was only wearing two of those.
They have an actual certified cheese monger?!?! And over 120 different types of cheeses!?! And you can try as many as you would like?!?!
When he has narrowed down his cheese selections to five, he will buy them all.
And then he will notice they have an olive bar. So he will try the olives, and buy a few buttery Italian Greens to go with the sourdough.
His wife will come back, poop-stained and all, which will remind him he saw a chocolate bar nearby. Feeling bad for her, he will ask the chocolatier about the different brands and find out that Harmons sells 2 of the top ten ranked chocolates in the nation (including the #3 in the world), so he will buy her some to match her shirts.
The island of Madagascar is home to the Trinitario and Criollo varieties of cocoa bean, and local producers excel in the art of the bean fermentation. Tanariva reveals a balance of acidulated flavors, softened by the pronounced milky caramel notes. - From the box.
And since the chocolates are next to an olive oil brand he loves, he will get the look that reminds him we are on a food budget.
But if you really want the best olive oil for sourdough, get the orange flavored Sciabica's, it is heavenly.
Harmons, my husband loves you, but you can only have his tastebuds...
If he buys all these things, he will realize he is going to need to get his wife some new knives for her birthday, and since he doesn't like buying things more than once, he'll get her the Henckles Professional set, because she watches the Food Network and that is what they are always using, plus a lifetime warranty and free sharpening doesn't hurt.
And since he is a price Nazi, he'll get the manager and talk them down 350 bucks on the price. Sweet! Too bad I don't get to open these on my birthday, hehe.
This evening I learned why David loves some of these finer things in life, we waited to have our dinner until the kids were in bed. He showed me how to mix the bread and the olives, the cheese and the grapes, and we savored a nibble of the chocolate.
I don't like olives. Let me clarify, don't like cheap olives.
That was a good date night.
It is so nice to use real knives.
Multiple new fun mind-expanding and tastebud-opening experiences.
Another one of the many great things about my marriage to him is how he regularly shows me there are many things to be enjoyed which are part of this life, like inspiring books, great food, and excellent music.
No. You can't use my knives. I will not be responsible for you slicing your finger to the bone with their awesomeness. :-)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Three. Hun. Dread.
In honor of our 300th post, we decided to share some of top threes!
Top 3 things we coulda shoulda woulda posted but chose not to:
3- Where we buried the body
2- Ami's base jumping broken arm
1- Why clowns are evil incarnate
Our top 3 quotes from our blog
3- The first comment Maggie made was: "Look! It has the umbrella -ka cord! That means the baby popped out!"
2-I think Discovery Channel's shark week left an impression on Maggie. Yesterday she prayed over the food, adding a plea to "make sure our house does not flood, and no sharks or bears attack us."
1- "BASED ON A TRUE STORY!" (April 2, 2009)
Top 3 things we wish our friends knew more about
3- Goodreads.com (use our junk email address davidandmelissahoffman@yahoo.com to find us)
2- The Church's stance on lesser issues like non-medical altering our bodies (i.e. plastic surgery or vasectomies)
1- Bountiful baskets
Top 3 things we learned about parenting
3- The children are going to do things wrong
2- We are going to do things wrong trying to help them stop doing things wrong
1- God has a sense of humor
Top 3 recipes our family made up
3 - Maggie
Mix 1 part applesauce with 1 part yogurt and add your favorite fruits
2- Ami
Take corn muffins, cover them in syrup, dip them in a smoothie repeatedly, eat with hand instead of spoon
1- David
Saute 5 ounces of mushrooms with 1/2 cube of butter and a 1/2 TBSP of pepper on low heat. Pour liquid off into a large skillet. Add about a 2/3 cup of olive oil and four cloves of freshly minced garlic, 1/4th of a minced bell pepper, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp of both garden-fresh parsley and Japanese basil, three pealed tomatoes (cored and diced), simmer 10 minutes. Add freshly diced peaches and pears, simmer 10 more minutes, serve over your favorite pasta. Serve the peppered mushrooms on the side... And I wonder why the kids like his cooking more?
Top 3 things we like with fine cheese (not the cheap crap but the good European stuff)
3- Berries with creamy cheeses like Havarti or Brie
2- Caramelized nuts with blue and goat cheeses
1- Grapes with aged cheeses like Swiss or Parmesan
Top 3 things we like about living in Utah
3- Dreams of the ocean and sailing are all the more sweet and fleeting
2- Almost anywhere you go for vacation is amazing, because it would be hard to go to a place where our allergies could get worse
1- There's always work for those in the road construction profession because the government won't pay for roads to be done right the first time. My children wonder how we stay on the road when we are not driving between orange cones
Top 3 things we really like about living in Utah
3- Cops harass you for NOT carrying a concealed weapon (true story)
2- Deseret Industries book selection
1- BYU
Top 3 posts from our blog
3- February 2008 "Daddy-daughter Date"
2- October 2008 "Failure apparently is an option"
1- Tie for the singers: June 2009 "Sing - a - Long" & "Mingling" March 2010
Top 3 favorite foods:
3- Homemade Bread
2- Baked desserts
1- Cheese
Top 3 things we've learned about blogging:
3- The right song or picture makes all the difference
2- It is more fun to share the stories in person, and unless it is funny, no one of substance cares about every little thing you are doing right now.
1- Friends read your blog because they care. Others read for their own entertainment. One possible way to tell the difference is to watch who leaves comments (we always review them and those who respectfully request that do not want their comments posted are always left off!)
Top 3 things we coulda shoulda woulda posted but chose not to:
3- Where we buried the body
2- Ami's base jumping broken arm
1- Why clowns are evil incarnate
Our top 3 quotes from our blog
3- The first comment Maggie made was: "Look! It has the umbrella -ka cord! That means the baby popped out!"
2-I think Discovery Channel's shark week left an impression on Maggie. Yesterday she prayed over the food, adding a plea to "make sure our house does not flood, and no sharks or bears attack us."
1- "BASED ON A TRUE STORY!" (April 2, 2009)
Top 3 things we wish our friends knew more about
3- Goodreads.com (use our junk email address davidandmelissahoffman@yahoo.com to find us)
2- The Church's stance on lesser issues like non-medical altering our bodies (i.e. plastic surgery or vasectomies)
1- Bountiful baskets
Top 3 things we learned about parenting
3- The children are going to do things wrong
2- We are going to do things wrong trying to help them stop doing things wrong
1- God has a sense of humor
Top 3 recipes our family made up
3 - Maggie
Mix 1 part applesauce with 1 part yogurt and add your favorite fruits
2- Ami
Take corn muffins, cover them in syrup, dip them in a smoothie repeatedly, eat with hand instead of spoon
1- David
Saute 5 ounces of mushrooms with 1/2 cube of butter and a 1/2 TBSP of pepper on low heat. Pour liquid off into a large skillet. Add about a 2/3 cup of olive oil and four cloves of freshly minced garlic, 1/4th of a minced bell pepper, 1 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp of both garden-fresh parsley and Japanese basil, three pealed tomatoes (cored and diced), simmer 10 minutes. Add freshly diced peaches and pears, simmer 10 more minutes, serve over your favorite pasta. Serve the peppered mushrooms on the side... And I wonder why the kids like his cooking more?
Top 3 things we like with fine cheese (not the cheap crap but the good European stuff)
3- Berries with creamy cheeses like Havarti or Brie
2- Caramelized nuts with blue and goat cheeses
1- Grapes with aged cheeses like Swiss or Parmesan
Top 3 things we like about living in Utah
3- Dreams of the ocean and sailing are all the more sweet and fleeting
2- Almost anywhere you go for vacation is amazing, because it would be hard to go to a place where our allergies could get worse
1- There's always work for those in the road construction profession because the government won't pay for roads to be done right the first time. My children wonder how we stay on the road when we are not driving between orange cones
Top 3 things we really like about living in Utah
3- Cops harass you for NOT carrying a concealed weapon (true story)
2- Deseret Industries book selection
1- BYU
Top 3 posts from our blog
3- February 2008 "Daddy-daughter Date"
2- October 2008 "Failure apparently is an option"
1- Tie for the singers: June 2009 "Sing - a - Long" & "Mingling" March 2010
Top 3 favorite foods:
3- Homemade Bread
2- Baked desserts
1- Cheese
Top 3 things we've learned about blogging:
3- The right song or picture makes all the difference
2- It is more fun to share the stories in person, and unless it is funny, no one of substance cares about every little thing you are doing right now.
1- Friends read your blog because they care. Others read for their own entertainment. One possible way to tell the difference is to watch who leaves comments (we always review them and those who respectfully request that do not want their comments posted are always left off!)
Death
I am not sure I am used to having a boy yet. Everything is about death.
Tim playing house with his Sisters.
Maggie: "Let's pretend that you are coming home from work!"
Tim: "Okay, I have just killed ten thousand ninjas."
Maggie: "Let's pretend you loved me like mom and dad love each other"
Tim: "Okay, I destroyed the dinosaur outside the window, I blew him up. He was going to eat you."
Maggie: "Do you want to play with the children?"
Tim: "Sure, I'll take them with me, we have to take out the evil bad villain guys with bows and arrows"
Maggie: "Would you like some dinner?"
Tim: "After I wrestle the bear with a knife!"
So, I asked him to watch Susanna for a moment. He walked over...
"I will protect you from the invading armies by killing them all."
"Tim, I don't want you to corrupt your little sisters mind, she is only seven months old!"
"I was talking to myself. Not to her."
oi vey
Tim playing house with his Sisters.
Maggie: "Let's pretend that you are coming home from work!"
Tim: "Okay, I have just killed ten thousand ninjas."
Maggie: "Let's pretend you loved me like mom and dad love each other"
Tim: "Okay, I destroyed the dinosaur outside the window, I blew him up. He was going to eat you."
Maggie: "Do you want to play with the children?"
Tim: "Sure, I'll take them with me, we have to take out the evil bad villain guys with bows and arrows"
Maggie: "Would you like some dinner?"
Tim: "After I wrestle the bear with a knife!"
So, I asked him to watch Susanna for a moment. He walked over...
"I will protect you from the invading armies by killing them all."
"Tim, I don't want you to corrupt your little sisters mind, she is only seven months old!"
"I was talking to myself. Not to her."
oi vey
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Rorschach
Whenever Maggie wants to describe how something looks, it is always the same.
"That kinda looks like a peanut."
Pancakes, clouds, toes, her little sister, the lamp, her brother's butt, everything looks like a peanut. What in the world should we think of that?
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Promise Kept, Advil Taken
The year was 1996, the pinnacle of my Mountain Biking skill. Our young men church group went up to one of the ski resorts in July to ride the lifts 4000 feet up, and then bike down three or four times.
That day I gained the nickname "endo" for setting a record seven times flying over the handlebars. I put my crank 1/2 into my right calf, I bled from almost every extremity. I bruised every extremity. I rolled down 15 feet of a 60% grade after hitting a sandbar at 20 miles per hour. I realized that a no-shock bike does not go over eight inch rock walls. I scared my leaders because my legs were more red than tan. I ruined a pair of shorts.
A few things changed mentally that day:
First, I realized I did not like Superman, because imitating him resulted in pain. From then on, I supported batman's awesomeness and psychologically intriguing rogues gallery.
Second, I realized I did not find the adrenaline rush of pain addictive like some.
Third, I swore off mountain biking. Why leave a perfectly good road?
Three years ago while home-teaching one of my good friends (isn't it funny how home-teachees become the best friends?) he challenged me to come out with him on the trails around our home. The area we live in is actually quite a mountain biking hotbed with courses and single-track trails in abundance. I promised I would, eventually.
Today I kept that promise.
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
My friend let me borrow a nice trek mountain bike, and we went up into the hills.
It took me less than ten minutes to reestablish my nickname, and nearly kill myself.
Sadly, the story does not involve any real challenge. He took me to the mountain bike equivalent of a bunny hill wood A-frame. Three feet up, three feet down. Nothing fancy. I gained the necessary speed, leaned forward, and noticed my tire moving to the side, no, make that off the side.
The bike went completely vertical with the rear tail following over the top. I ducked to roll out of it like one would road biking. I came down on a triangular shaped rock which could have made my wife a millionaire, but just ruined an expensive set of glasses and my helmet.
My body collided with the surrounding timber and rocks, puncturing the skin on my leg and giving me all sorts of road rashes. I crunched, and completely ruined my shorts. Feeling quite cheeky, I stood up; upset mostly because my friend took his 7 year old on these tracks and did not apparently have any problems. My pride and other nether-regions were significantly injured.
I successfully crashed three more times, bruising every (again) extremity of my body before the day was done. A bike with 4 inches of travel does not win against an 18 inch rock, and I lose against the crossbar. every. single. time.
Promise fulfilled. That won't happen again.
At least for a few weeks...
That day I gained the nickname "endo" for setting a record seven times flying over the handlebars. I put my crank 1/2 into my right calf, I bled from almost every extremity. I bruised every extremity. I rolled down 15 feet of a 60% grade after hitting a sandbar at 20 miles per hour. I realized that a no-shock bike does not go over eight inch rock walls. I scared my leaders because my legs were more red than tan. I ruined a pair of shorts.
A few things changed mentally that day:
First, I realized I did not like Superman, because imitating him resulted in pain. From then on, I supported batman's awesomeness and psychologically intriguing rogues gallery.
Second, I realized I did not find the adrenaline rush of pain addictive like some.
Third, I swore off mountain biking. Why leave a perfectly good road?
Three years ago while home-teaching one of my good friends (isn't it funny how home-teachees become the best friends?) he challenged me to come out with him on the trails around our home. The area we live in is actually quite a mountain biking hotbed with courses and single-track trails in abundance. I promised I would, eventually.
Today I kept that promise.
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
My friend let me borrow a nice trek mountain bike, and we went up into the hills.
It took me less than ten minutes to reestablish my nickname, and nearly kill myself.
Sadly, the story does not involve any real challenge. He took me to the mountain bike equivalent of a bunny hill wood A-frame. Three feet up, three feet down. Nothing fancy. I gained the necessary speed, leaned forward, and noticed my tire moving to the side, no, make that off the side.
The bike went completely vertical with the rear tail following over the top. I ducked to roll out of it like one would road biking. I came down on a triangular shaped rock which could have made my wife a millionaire, but just ruined an expensive set of glasses and my helmet.
My body collided with the surrounding timber and rocks, puncturing the skin on my leg and giving me all sorts of road rashes. I crunched, and completely ruined my shorts. Feeling quite cheeky, I stood up; upset mostly because my friend took his 7 year old on these tracks and did not apparently have any problems. My pride and other nether-regions were significantly injured.
I successfully crashed three more times, bruising every (again) extremity of my body before the day was done. A bike with 4 inches of travel does not win against an 18 inch rock, and I lose against the crossbar. every. single. time.
Promise fulfilled. That won't happen again.
At least for a few weeks...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Once there was upon a time
Ask children this question for entertainment: "What is your favorite fairy tale?"
Ami:
"You mean a book? It is Eeyore Has A happy tail I Love To See The Temple."
How does it go?
"Once there was upon a time, there was an Eeyore upon a tree, who was an Igor, they rhyme because they both have a geegore. What is Depesche Mode?"
Tim:
"White Fang. I like it so far, all the things I have read about it, all of it."
What page are you on?
"Chapter five and the number of page 47"
Maggie:
"The Tale of Despereaux, I really like that Dis-pex was very brave about a lot of brave things."
Ami:
"You mean a book? It is Eeyore Has A happy tail I Love To See The Temple."
How does it go?
"Once there was upon a time, there was an Eeyore upon a tree, who was an Igor, they rhyme because they both have a geegore. What is Depesche Mode?"
Tim:
"White Fang. I like it so far, all the things I have read about it, all of it."
What page are you on?
"Chapter five and the number of page 47"
Maggie:
"The Tale of Despereaux, I really like that Dis-pex was very brave about a lot of brave things."
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Steroids? Approved!
For about six months, Ami has looked forward to this week's doctor appointment, knowing that once she turned 3, she would get to eat vitamins like her older siblings.
Little did we know they would be to her what spinach is to Popeye.
Yesterday, upon returning home, she informed me that, "because I had a vitamin, now I can pedal a bike." So she took me outside and demonstrated.
Then, last evening we went camping with some friends, and she informed me that, "because I eat my vitamins, I am smarter too!"
She insists that she is stronger. smarter, [better-looking?] and happier because she "had vitamins and not shots from the doctor."
Who knew?