The Shrieking Shack

When Nannie came for Thanksgiving this year, she brought with her the memory of a game, pulled out of the attic of her mind, dusted off, and passed on to her grandchildren.

Has anyone noticed that the things that grandparents bring to cause the grandchildren joy are often the things that are the most painful to parents?

Evidence for the prosecution:

Exhibit A
The game "No bears are out tonight"

The game starts with two people being "it". They are positioned in the front yard. The others playing the game, or coerced into joining through accusations of poor parenting, are in the back. They are expected to frolic around the back yard screa - er - I mean, singing the following occult chant:

No bears are out tonight, Daddy killed them all last night, no bears are out tonight, Daddy killed them all last night...

Until the two bears "sneak" around the yard and tackle (bear hug) two others, who become the bears.

It is simply tag, with additional embarrassment as the neighbors look out their windows and worry about the crazies next door.



Wait for iiiittttttttttttttttttt. (Notice the psychotic stance and glare of Tim?)



Richard gets mugged/hugged. Ami shrieks in delight running from nothing since the two bears are in the process of mauling Richard. Other siblings watch in embarrassment as blinds around the block slowly close.



Susanna proves that she is more like her father each day. In this picture she logically observes the game, determines its level of quality, and makes her decision (to leave).

Exhibit B:

They bought us a drum set.

The prosecution rests.

Run, Run, Run, As Fast As Dad Can

Eagle Mountain City Turkey Trot

Location: Up and Down Unity Pass

Date: Thanksgiving, 8am

Distance: 3.65 miles

Who: Dad and Maggie

Time: 40 minutes, 48 Seconds (Dad slowed her down.)

Results: Endorphins for Maggie; Advil, Poweraid, and Blisters for Dad.

Easily mistakable

For Maggie's 2nd Christmas, she got this big care bear.



They were pretty close in size as well as color.
She slept with it regularly.



Now Susanna, at the same age Maggie was in these 2 pictures, has discovered it and likes to sleep with it.

Even better? She was wearing those same pajamas Maggie had on in the pictures!

Last night, David tucked in all the sleeping kids. I made the rounds, unaware of his earlier actions.

When I finished, I asked David if he'd tucked in the kids.
D: Yes.
M: And the Care Bear?
D: What? (a bit confused)
M: Did you have your glasses on?
D: No.
M: Oh. I found the Care Bear carefully tucked in under the blankets.
D: That's odd. What happened to Susanne?
M: She's on top of the blankets.
D: She was asleep when I tucked her in.
M: I don't think that changed.

Halloween

It was a slightly cloudy and pleasant night...



So we trick-or-treated the children into fatigue.



Approximately 4 miles walked. Over 200 pieces of candy



Some of the houses had individuals hiding and scared the children. Fun.



The Smiths joined us in our adventure.

B's are hard.

"TIM! HERE. NOW...

"... bud, the phrase is bucking bronco. Bucking. Say it with me now BUCK-ing bronco."

*edited for content*

"Ba. Buh buh buh-ucking bronco"

"Buft-ing bronco"

"Good enough. Why not avoid that phrase little buddy."

"Yes dad."

There's always one...

After seeing our blog, a friend mentioned to us, "I love your family pictures, there is always someone who is not smiling." We laughed at how accurate that seems to be. Since then we have noticed some situations which have caused us to question if that astute observation goes beyond the photos...

Evidence #1: Photos don't lie, unless they have been photoshopped, which we have not.


Evidence #2:

"Tim, pleeeeaaassseee read me a book," begged Ami

"Da da, dupp dupp, ding ding" (Tim has his own perpetual soundtrack.)

"Pretty plleeeeeaaaasssseeeee, with I get the cherry on top."

"Nope, da dope, mo soap, galope, so-nope"

"Daaaadddd! I asked Tim nicely to read to me and he won't."

*ignoring*

*Ami kicks Tim in the shins*.

"OOOOOWWWWWW"

"Ami, please come here!"

*Tim comes down the stairs with that 'I'm about to do push-ups' look on his face*

"Tim, I called for Ami."

"Really??? Whooo-WHOOO!"

*He turns around, bends forward slightly, and puts his left foot forward and begins a dance. Left check wiggle twice. Right foot on first stair. Right hip thrust, wiggle-wiggle, arms raised in celebration, bend forward and pause* "Oh yea-ah, un-hunh, not-me-ee, oh no-oh" *Left step, wiggle wiggle... continues up the stairs shake'n his lack of booty*

"Dad wants you-ooo-be-do-doo- whoo-whoo"

Ami comes down dejected. There's always one...


Evidence #3:

Family movie night. Lion King. Once we are all settled.

"I don't want to watch Lion King. Scar is scary," whined Ami.

"But we already started."

"Dad, did you buy Thor, or did we just rent it," asked Maggie.

"Bought it, why?"

"It's not scary."

"Wait, Lion King is more scary than Thor?"

"Yes!" Maggie and Ami simultaneously respond.

"Totally" Tim adds.

"Hold on, you two have not even seen Thor."

"We know."

"But this is family movie time!"

"Can we still be a family if we watch Thor?" Asked Ami.

"Fine, but Susanna, Tim, Mom and I will be watching Lion King in here."

"Sweet."

"Totally sweet."

*Halfway through the movie, Ami decides Thor is boring, and Tim decides Lion King is boring. And they switch, only to then start playing with Legos."

You can do that???

Our microwave (yes the new one) stopped working today. So I pulled out a pan, and started cooking the oatmeal.

The children's jaws dropped in shock.

"What are you doing?"

"Cooking the oatmeal."

"You can do that????"

"Yes, this is how we did it when I was a kid." (Note the immediate feeling of being old descending lightly like a grand piano out of a penthouse.)

The silly giggles began, along with the mimickery, - 'look at me, I am cooking on a stove' 'me too'.

When it finished cooking, Maggie anticipated, "I hope this worked!"

It's magic! Fortunately the microwave will be back soon, so we can cook our food right using quality, tested, scientific principles.

Words without speaking

A few weeks ago I was assigned as a member of the choir for the General Relief Society broadcast. My assignment differed slightly, my hands would do the singing. Two deaf sisters and I would be signing the songs.

One of the more interesting things we did was examine the translations of the songs. American Sign Language is designed to translate meaning, not every word. For example, in the song "Now Let Us Rejoice", the phrase, "and never dissemble" we translated "gossip never" after looking up the meaning of the word dissemble.

It is an interesting challenge to "sing" a song with the same meaning and different words at the same time as a choir, but the experience was precious, and a great opportunity for growth. It stretched me a ton.

If you look closely at the picture, I am (looking towards the organ) the second person from the left on the bottom row.