"TIM! HERE. NOW...
"... bud, the phrase is bucking bronco. Bucking. Say it with me now BUCK-ing bronco."
*edited for content*
"Ba. Buh buh buh-ucking bronco"
"Buft-ing bronco"
"Good enough. Why not avoid that phrase little buddy."
"Yes dad."
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
There's always one...
After seeing our blog, a friend mentioned to us, "I love your family pictures, there is always someone who is not smiling." We laughed at how accurate that seems to be. Since then we have noticed some situations which have caused us to question if that astute observation goes beyond the photos...
Evidence #1: Photos don't lie, unless they have been photoshopped, which we have not.
Evidence #2:
"Tim, pleeeeaaassseee read me a book," begged Ami
"Da da, dupp dupp, ding ding" (Tim has his own perpetual soundtrack.)
"Pretty plleeeeeaaaasssseeeee, with I get the cherry on top."
"Nope, da dope, mo soap, galope, so-nope"
"Daaaadddd! I asked Tim nicely to read to me and he won't."
*ignoring*
*Ami kicks Tim in the shins*.
"OOOOOWWWWWW"
"Ami, please come here!"
*Tim comes down the stairs with that 'I'm about to do push-ups' look on his face*
"Tim, I called for Ami."
"Really??? Whooo-WHOOO!"
*He turns around, bends forward slightly, and puts his left foot forward and begins a dance. Left check wiggle twice. Right foot on first stair. Right hip thrust, wiggle-wiggle, arms raised in celebration, bend forward and pause* "Oh yea-ah, un-hunh, not-me-ee, oh no-oh" *Left step, wiggle wiggle... continues up the stairs shake'n his lack of booty*
"Dad wants you-ooo-be-do-doo- whoo-whoo"
Ami comes down dejected. There's always one...
Evidence #3:
Family movie night. Lion King. Once we are all settled.
"I don't want to watch Lion King. Scar is scary," whined Ami.
"But we already started."
"Dad, did you buy Thor, or did we just rent it," asked Maggie.
"Bought it, why?"
"It's not scary."
"Wait, Lion King is more scary than Thor?"
"Yes!" Maggie and Ami simultaneously respond.
"Totally" Tim adds.
"Hold on, you two have not even seen Thor."
"We know."
"But this is family movie time!"
"Can we still be a family if we watch Thor?" Asked Ami.
"Fine, but Susanna, Tim, Mom and I will be watching Lion King in here."
"Sweet."
"Totally sweet."
*Halfway through the movie, Ami decides Thor is boring, and Tim decides Lion King is boring. And they switch, only to then start playing with Legos."
Evidence #1: Photos don't lie, unless they have been photoshopped, which we have not.
Evidence #2:
"Tim, pleeeeaaassseee read me a book," begged Ami
"Da da, dupp dupp, ding ding" (Tim has his own perpetual soundtrack.)
"Pretty plleeeeeaaaasssseeeee, with I get the cherry on top."
"Nope, da dope, mo soap, galope, so-nope"
"Daaaadddd! I asked Tim nicely to read to me and he won't."
*ignoring*
*Ami kicks Tim in the shins*.
"OOOOOWWWWWW"
"Ami, please come here!"
*Tim comes down the stairs with that 'I'm about to do push-ups' look on his face*
"Tim, I called for Ami."
"Really??? Whooo-WHOOO!"
*He turns around, bends forward slightly, and puts his left foot forward and begins a dance. Left check wiggle twice. Right foot on first stair. Right hip thrust, wiggle-wiggle, arms raised in celebration, bend forward and pause* "Oh yea-ah, un-hunh, not-me-ee, oh no-oh" *Left step, wiggle wiggle... continues up the stairs shake'n his lack of booty*
"Dad wants you-ooo-be-do-doo- whoo-whoo"
Ami comes down dejected. There's always one...
Evidence #3:
Family movie night. Lion King. Once we are all settled.
"I don't want to watch Lion King. Scar is scary," whined Ami.
"But we already started."
"Dad, did you buy Thor, or did we just rent it," asked Maggie.
"Bought it, why?"
"It's not scary."
"Wait, Lion King is more scary than Thor?"
"Yes!" Maggie and Ami simultaneously respond.
"Totally" Tim adds.
"Hold on, you two have not even seen Thor."
"We know."
"But this is family movie time!"
"Can we still be a family if we watch Thor?" Asked Ami.
"Fine, but Susanna, Tim, Mom and I will be watching Lion King in here."
"Sweet."
"Totally sweet."
*Halfway through the movie, Ami decides Thor is boring, and Tim decides Lion King is boring. And they switch, only to then start playing with Legos."
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
You can do that???
Our microwave (yes the new one) stopped working today. So I pulled out a pan, and started cooking the oatmeal.
The children's jaws dropped in shock.
"What are you doing?"
"Cooking the oatmeal."
"You can do that????"
"Yes, this is how we did it when I was a kid." (Note the immediate feeling of being old descending lightly like a grand piano out of a penthouse.)
The silly giggles began, along with the mimickery, - 'look at me, I am cooking on a stove' 'me too'.
When it finished cooking, Maggie anticipated, "I hope this worked!"
It's magic! Fortunately the microwave will be back soon, so we can cook our food right using quality, tested, scientific principles.
The children's jaws dropped in shock.
"What are you doing?"
"Cooking the oatmeal."
"You can do that????"
"Yes, this is how we did it when I was a kid." (Note the immediate feeling of being old descending lightly like a grand piano out of a penthouse.)
The silly giggles began, along with the mimickery, - 'look at me, I am cooking on a stove' 'me too'.
When it finished cooking, Maggie anticipated, "I hope this worked!"
It's magic! Fortunately the microwave will be back soon, so we can cook our food right using quality, tested, scientific principles.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Words without speaking
A few weeks ago I was assigned as a member of the choir for the General Relief Society broadcast. My assignment differed slightly, my hands would do the singing. Two deaf sisters and I would be signing the songs.
One of the more interesting things we did was examine the translations of the songs. American Sign Language is designed to translate meaning, not every word. For example, in the song "Now Let Us Rejoice", the phrase, "and never dissemble" we translated "gossip never" after looking up the meaning of the word dissemble.
It is an interesting challenge to "sing" a song with the same meaning and different words at the same time as a choir, but the experience was precious, and a great opportunity for growth. It stretched me a ton.
If you look closely at the picture, I am (looking towards the organ) the second person from the left on the bottom row.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
In case you're not convinced. . .
"
"?
Fruits-------------------Vegetables
5 bananas---------------1 head cauliflower
20 plums ---------------1 bunch green leaf lettuce
5 Bosch pears ----------2 bunches spinach
5 Roma tomatoes ------1 celery
4 nectarines-------------22 white potatoes
2 (giant) mangoes
1 pound green grapes
22 pounds. $16.50 (handling fee included.)
"?
Fruits-------------------Vegetables
5 bananas---------------1 head cauliflower
20 plums ---------------1 bunch green leaf lettuce
5 Bosch pears ----------2 bunches spinach
5 Roma tomatoes ------1 celery
4 nectarines-------------22 white potatoes
2 (giant) mangoes
1 pound green grapes
22 pounds. $16.50 (handling fee included.)
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Circle of Life: Who's at the Top of the Food Chain?
Fish Update:
1. The guppies (Bond and Vesper) have given birth to 5 children. Vesper ate one. Fish death 65.
2. We put three in a small container to let them grow. Three weeks later we found one surviving in the large tank. Melissa felt he deserved to live, so we named him Frodo since he survived certain death for a long time. We returned the other three to the tank, naming them Samwise, Merry and Pip.
3. A day after returning them to the tank, Vesper gave birth to another 15 children. Our tank cannot handle that load, so we held a family teaching moment.
- I turned on "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King Soundtrack.
- We captured the 15 newborns in a small net and placed them in a container.
- We then enjoyed the following conversation:
"Kids, what becomes dirt?"
*confusion*
"Dead stuff."
"What eats dirt?"
"Worms!"
"What eats worms?"
"Birds"
"What eats birds?"
"Big Birds!"
"What eats big birds?
"Coyotes!"
"Okay, what eats Coyotes?"
"Foxes!"
"Not so sure about that, let's just say Coyotes die from disease and starvation. When their bodies die and become dirt, what eats dirt?"
"Babies!"
"No. Well, not usually. What eats fish?"
"Bigger fish!"
"What eats bigger fish?"
"Sharks!"
"What eats sharks?"
"Foxes!"
"Yes, I mean, wait, what??? Tim, when was the last time you saw a fox eat a shark?"
"It could happen."
"Okay, we'll just go with that."
"It is time to watch this pattern, it is called the circle of life. Do you see these guppies?"
"Yes."
"Do you see Oscar el demonio blanco, el matador de los pescados (sweetest fish name ever for our Japanese fighting fish in a separate bowl)?"
"Yes."
"He's the bigger fish."
I then poured the guppy fry into the bowl with Oscar.
Maggie broke down into laughing tears.
Tim: "Cool!"
Ami: "They get to share now!"
Susanna: "Meeeee!"
After the feast, Maggie decided to express her feelings in a poem:
This morning Oscar ate four newborn fry.
At first I was excited,
but then I started to cry,
As I watched them die.
4. We bought 3 ottocynclids to help with the tank, two died. Plus the guppies. Death total up to 82. Staying alive: 11 fish, one snail, two shrimp, 4 children.
Oh, and by the way, foxes are at the top of the food chain.
1. The guppies (Bond and Vesper) have given birth to 5 children. Vesper ate one. Fish death 65.
2. We put three in a small container to let them grow. Three weeks later we found one surviving in the large tank. Melissa felt he deserved to live, so we named him Frodo since he survived certain death for a long time. We returned the other three to the tank, naming them Samwise, Merry and Pip.
3. A day after returning them to the tank, Vesper gave birth to another 15 children. Our tank cannot handle that load, so we held a family teaching moment.
- I turned on "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King Soundtrack.
- We captured the 15 newborns in a small net and placed them in a container.
- We then enjoyed the following conversation:
"Kids, what becomes dirt?"
*confusion*
"Dead stuff."
"What eats dirt?"
"Worms!"
"What eats worms?"
"Birds"
"What eats birds?"
"Big Birds!"
"What eats big birds?
"Coyotes!"
"Okay, what eats Coyotes?"
"Foxes!"
"Not so sure about that, let's just say Coyotes die from disease and starvation. When their bodies die and become dirt, what eats dirt?"
"Babies!"
"No. Well, not usually. What eats fish?"
"Bigger fish!"
"What eats bigger fish?"
"Sharks!"
"What eats sharks?"
"Foxes!"
"Yes, I mean, wait, what??? Tim, when was the last time you saw a fox eat a shark?"
"It could happen."
"Okay, we'll just go with that."
"It is time to watch this pattern, it is called the circle of life. Do you see these guppies?"
"Yes."
"Do you see Oscar el demonio blanco, el matador de los pescados (sweetest fish name ever for our Japanese fighting fish in a separate bowl)?"
"Yes."
"He's the bigger fish."
I then poured the guppy fry into the bowl with Oscar.
Maggie broke down into laughing tears.
Tim: "Cool!"
Ami: "They get to share now!"
Susanna: "Meeeee!"
After the feast, Maggie decided to express her feelings in a poem:
This morning Oscar ate four newborn fry.
At first I was excited,
but then I started to cry,
As I watched them die.
4. We bought 3 ottocynclids to help with the tank, two died. Plus the guppies. Death total up to 82. Staying alive: 11 fish, one snail, two shrimp, 4 children.
Oh, and by the way, foxes are at the top of the food chain.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Under the Sea, Under a Cloudy Sky.
Ami's fourth birthday wish list:
- Shopping for Clothing (check)
- Little Mermaid Cake and Girl's Fingernail Party (check)
- Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur Museum Pirate Birthday Family Party (check)
- "Go to a hotel and go swimming like Ariel" (check)
Melissa made the Little Mermaid cake. This is after Ariel had reconstructive surgery.
Susanna made the surgery possible (it was not a selective surgery for those questioning the cake's doctrinal stability).
Ami's and her best friend went to Walmart with Melissa and Lori to purchase lip balm and fingernail polish. They then came home to do full manicures. (Please ignore Susanna mooning the camera, in her clothed butt, upset that she did not get her nails painted.)
Melissa had not enjoyed a Mother-son date with Tim recently, and he was losing his "gentlemen skills" so they went off to see "Cars 2" while David took the girls to Thanksgiving Point's Pirate Birthday Party.
Carriage Ride - this was the only moment Susanna was not trying to jump out.
Face Painting.
Meeting Captain Blackwater.
Decorations for the pirate party.
For the final wish, David bought tickets to take Maggie and Ami to the Tuacahn Amphitheater.
We felt no guilt leaving Tim with his uncle and aunt since he went on multiple man-hikes and night hikes with David already this summer. (Mom wanted to go swimming also! Maybe we won't mention she forgot her swimsuit...)
He didn't buy it. He still felt a bit left out.
He commented to his uncle, "The next time my family decides to go on vacation without me can we buy more Legos?"
Ingrate. Oh well. He's six.
When we arrived at the hotel in Saint George, we put our things down and headed straight for the pool. Ami was in full-life vest support so she would not have any trouble or near-death experiences (we thought). David started walking her around the pool. She held on to his back. Then he heard gurgling. Turning around he saw that Maggie swam to the center of the pool, tried to put her foot down, could not touch, and panicked.
David quickly put Ami two inches from the side of the pool to grab on and wait, and swam to grab Maggie. She spat up about a half gallon of water, but ended up fine. Then he heard gurgling. Turning around he saw that Ami panicked and leaned sideways (still within reaching distance of the side) and was side-floating, with a little water going in her mouth. So he threw Maggie into the shallow end and swam back to Ami. Who came up just fine (maybe one gulp of water total) with the comment, "thanks Dad for saving my life".
After the other pool guests stopped staring at him, and the girls figured out how to swim again, they enjoyed themselves.
Dinner tasted great to all those over the age of 9.
After a short failed nap, the three headed off to the Tuacahn.
At the entry.
The quarter-mile-waterfall's fountain.
The background, stage, special effects, and transitions exceeded David's expectations for even a professional performance. Unfortunately, a couple mic problems lowered the quality a bit. If you have not been, this performance is definitely worth the trip. David wanted to take Melissa back in a few months for the final showing, but that does not look like it fits in the old budget.
Ami enjoyed the first fifteen minutes. She then required food for the next three hours to keep her from interrupting the show. Mamba's, runts, candy, slushy... good night!
Speaking of good night, that location is really impressive. Really impressive.
After the show (midnight) were fireworks celebrating the 24th of July. The opportunity to meet the cast got Maggie really excited.
Flounder, who also sang the national anthem, did amazing.
Maggie loved Sabastian.
David rooted for the chef, who doesn't like sweet little succulent crab?
Maggie enjoyed gull-ability.
Ami really wanted to meet Ariel. So did every other girl at the show. The line was long. They had it down to a science for pictures, but... Ami would not turn around, she kept saying something to Ariel. David gave Maggie the "what in the world???" look, and she turned Ami around for the picture.
Once they got a bit away from the crowd, David asked Maggie what happened. Ami was expressing gratitude, in Maggie's words Ami said:
"I am really grateful you saved Eric. He would have died. I know because earlier today I nearly drowned, and my dad saved me. It is scary to drown. So thank you. That makes you a hero like my dad. That's him right there."
Ariel was a consummate professional in kindness and listened with real intent to Ami, but once Ami turned around and pointed to me, she nearly lost it laughing.
They were asleep even before the a/c cooled off the car.
- Shopping for Clothing (check)
- Little Mermaid Cake and Girl's Fingernail Party (check)
- Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur Museum Pirate Birthday Family Party (check)
- "Go to a hotel and go swimming like Ariel" (check)
Melissa made the Little Mermaid cake. This is after Ariel had reconstructive surgery.
Susanna made the surgery possible (it was not a selective surgery for those questioning the cake's doctrinal stability).
Ami's and her best friend went to Walmart with Melissa and Lori to purchase lip balm and fingernail polish. They then came home to do full manicures. (Please ignore Susanna mooning the camera, in her clothed butt, upset that she did not get her nails painted.)
Melissa had not enjoyed a Mother-son date with Tim recently, and he was losing his "gentlemen skills" so they went off to see "Cars 2" while David took the girls to Thanksgiving Point's Pirate Birthday Party.
Carriage Ride - this was the only moment Susanna was not trying to jump out.
Face Painting.
Meeting Captain Blackwater.
Decorations for the pirate party.
For the final wish, David bought tickets to take Maggie and Ami to the Tuacahn Amphitheater.
We felt no guilt leaving Tim with his uncle and aunt since he went on multiple man-hikes and night hikes with David already this summer. (Mom wanted to go swimming also! Maybe we won't mention she forgot her swimsuit...)
He didn't buy it. He still felt a bit left out.
He commented to his uncle, "The next time my family decides to go on vacation without me can we buy more Legos?"
Ingrate. Oh well. He's six.
When we arrived at the hotel in Saint George, we put our things down and headed straight for the pool. Ami was in full-life vest support so she would not have any trouble or near-death experiences (we thought). David started walking her around the pool. She held on to his back. Then he heard gurgling. Turning around he saw that Maggie swam to the center of the pool, tried to put her foot down, could not touch, and panicked.
David quickly put Ami two inches from the side of the pool to grab on and wait, and swam to grab Maggie. She spat up about a half gallon of water, but ended up fine. Then he heard gurgling. Turning around he saw that Ami panicked and leaned sideways (still within reaching distance of the side) and was side-floating, with a little water going in her mouth. So he threw Maggie into the shallow end and swam back to Ami. Who came up just fine (maybe one gulp of water total) with the comment, "thanks Dad for saving my life".
After the other pool guests stopped staring at him, and the girls figured out how to swim again, they enjoyed themselves.
Dinner tasted great to all those over the age of 9.
After a short failed nap, the three headed off to the Tuacahn.
At the entry.
The quarter-mile-waterfall's fountain.
The background, stage, special effects, and transitions exceeded David's expectations for even a professional performance. Unfortunately, a couple mic problems lowered the quality a bit. If you have not been, this performance is definitely worth the trip. David wanted to take Melissa back in a few months for the final showing, but that does not look like it fits in the old budget.
Ami enjoyed the first fifteen minutes. She then required food for the next three hours to keep her from interrupting the show. Mamba's, runts, candy, slushy... good night!
Speaking of good night, that location is really impressive. Really impressive.
After the show (midnight) were fireworks celebrating the 24th of July. The opportunity to meet the cast got Maggie really excited.
Flounder, who also sang the national anthem, did amazing.
Maggie loved Sabastian.
David rooted for the chef, who doesn't like sweet little succulent crab?
Maggie enjoyed gull-ability.
Ami really wanted to meet Ariel. So did every other girl at the show. The line was long. They had it down to a science for pictures, but... Ami would not turn around, she kept saying something to Ariel. David gave Maggie the "what in the world???" look, and she turned Ami around for the picture.
Once they got a bit away from the crowd, David asked Maggie what happened. Ami was expressing gratitude, in Maggie's words Ami said:
"I am really grateful you saved Eric. He would have died. I know because earlier today I nearly drowned, and my dad saved me. It is scary to drown. So thank you. That makes you a hero like my dad. That's him right there."
Ariel was a consummate professional in kindness and listened with real intent to Ami, but once Ami turned around and pointed to me, she nearly lost it laughing.
They were asleep even before the a/c cooled off the car.
It has come to our attention...
...that some of our friends remain ignorant of the quality LDS humor made possible by BYU's Divine Comedy Troupe. To the uninitiated, may we offer the following hyper-linked suggestions:
Warning - not living in Happy Valley will render this humor very difficult to comprehend.
Like a fragmentation grenade...
Lord of the Rings - Properly spoofed:
Lord of the Engagement Rings (part 1)
Lord of the Engagement Rings (part 2)
The Deseret Towers (part 1)
The Deseret Towers (part 2)
Return of the Missionary (part 1)
Return of the Missioanry (part 2)
Every Chick Flick
The Love Shack, er Sac...
P90X - The X stands for Pain
Flo-ridya (The song of the incoming freshman).
Don't be a hater. You know you laughed.
Warning - not living in Happy Valley will render this humor very difficult to comprehend.
Like a fragmentation grenade...
Lord of the Rings - Properly spoofed:
Lord of the Engagement Rings (part 1)
Lord of the Engagement Rings (part 2)
The Deseret Towers (part 1)
The Deseret Towers (part 2)
Return of the Missionary (part 1)
Return of the Missioanry (part 2)
Every Chick Flick
The Love Shack, er Sac...
P90X - The X stands for Pain
Flo-ridya (The song of the incoming freshman).
Don't be a hater. You know you laughed.