Who's raising these kids???

It's not the TV. It's not a sitter. I can't figure it out if it's someone other than me! But...

Questionable situation 1:

[Background - whenever #2 has an accident of the poop kind, he takes a shower. #2 equates showers with punishment. Baths are good, showers bad.]

David made lunch today after his flag football game while I worked on sharing time. After we sat down, we talked about our afternoon plans. David said the first thing he needed to do was take a shower. #2 innocently asked him, "Dad did you have an accident and get poop on your bum during the football game?"

I shoved food into my month to keep from losing it completely.

Questionable situation 2:

[Background - they haven't seen this with us or at our home on TV!]

As David came out of the bedroom after his shower, #2 ran to excited report to me the latest game he and #1 had come up with. "Mom! #1 and I are playing with our tongues together! We're touching them back and forth."

I couldn't contain it, so David stepped in and informed them that "the only thing we touch our tongues to is food, and unless you are going to eat each others ears, you better not use the tongues"...

After talking with them, he looked up at me with that, "What in the world" type of look. All I could do was respond:

"Who's raising these kids anyway?"

He turned around, walked off rubbing his head in disbelief.