C
1:02 A.M. Your wife awakes you and you realize that the water on your face is not drool. A pleasant surprise, but only for a moment. A light drizzle has started to permeate your tent, which has a complete mesh top, and your family is getting wet. Do you (a) throw a blanket over your youngest daughter so she can have her first water-boarding experience, (b) tell your oldest daughter to "can [her] whimpering" and "take it like a man", (c) ask your wife to go find the rain-fly as you try to locate the cell phones so they don't get wet, (d) all of the above?
D
1:03 A.M. The drizzle has switched to a flash summer desert downpour of 33 degree rain and you are standing outside the tent. Your hairless dome does not soak up any water and you are soaked to the nether regions. Your wife has not returned, did she (a) slip and slide down your front yard grassy mud trying to take a turn while running barefoot, (b) have trouble getting up while laughing at herself, (c) catch the rain-fly in the door on the return trip and nearly ruin your new tent (d) all of the above?
D
1:04 A.M. You daughters are still whimpering and gasping for air. Your son has (a) awoken and started doing an indian rain dance naked on his foam pad, (b) slid down to the bottom corner of the tent on an interior river of water (c) covered himself, starting his own waterboarding process, and fallen back to sleep.
C
1:06 A.M. You are now completely drenched. Your wife is still laughing. The neighbors are shutting their windows in angst. Under her sleeping bag, your oldest has started to pray for deliverance from this evil. The rain-fly is tangled. You have died of dysentery.
1:07 A.M. The rainfly is in place, and you begin transferring things from inside the tent to the kitchen. In what order do you take things in? (a) The panic-stricken oldest child who is wondering why this happens to people even after they pray, (b) the passed-out from lack of air, asleep other children, (c) the cell phones, (d) the guns, (e) the shoes, (f) the sleeping bags and pads.
c-d-b-a-e-f
1:09 A.M. The rain has stopped. Your 9th layer of your epidermis has started the water absorption process. Your kitchen is a pile of gear. You must now spend the next 25 minutes getting things to areas of the house where they can properly dry. You are completely awake. You stare out the window as the powers-that-be laugh, having proven again His sense of humor. Happy 4th of July. Good job declaring your independence from any pioneer-heritage-manliness, you ninny.
4 comments:
Wow ... now that sounds like an experience. Thanks for warning me not to try that any time soon. =)
Sounds like you had an enjoyable night. :) Sounds about like our camping night a couple of weeks ago. Good times...
I love this :) It is a good parable type story. But it saddens me to know you have to have a gun just to spend the night in your yard. :(
So I'm up in the middle of the night and decided to read this again! It is so funny. I think what I love about it so much is that a mile down the road we had the exact same experience. When you had been at our house earlier that day talking of the adventures that awaited you that night with a backyard ghetto camp out we just had to try it ourselves. That was the weirdest storm. The rain drops were so large and came down so hard. I couldn't believe how once we got everything in it had stopped. hahaha. I think next time we'll look up the evening's forecast. Hope your camping trip coming up goes much much better. :0)
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